I posted a similar version of this on Facebook when a certain memory popped up about my chronic health issues. I also wanted to share it here – because this is where I collect my stones of remembrance. ❤
12 years.
For 12 years I have struggled with an unnamed illness.
For 12 years I have been passed from doctor to doctor, from test to test with no answers and little help.
And I felt so alone, so unheard, so hopeless. Early this year, I met with a stranger, a friend of a friend, to receive some very specific prayers for healing. I had never met her and she didn’t know my story. We met at a coffee shop and, before I share my story, she tells me that she had a prophetic vision of me just barely hanging on to the edge of a boat in the midst of a storm – so tired, so weary, but doing my best to not let go.
Immediately, I cried. She saw me. No, HE saw me and He was using Bekah as a tool to speak into my heart and soul.
Mind you, prophetic visions are not something I’m familiar with or super comfortable with. In fact, the mention of prophecy often puts a check in my spirit. But, with the Holy Spirit’s discernment, I knew this was from the Most High. So I leaned in…
We talked, I shared my whole story (and then some), she shared what words the Lord had given to her that morning for me, and she prayed over me. This is just a small portion of what she had to say:
“He highlighted Ezekiel 47:12 – ‘Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.’ This is what the Lord wants for you …to be like this tree. To be ever bearing fruit through all seasons. To be healed and full of life. To remain planted by that continuous flowing stream of life to then be able to bring fruit to others.”
I remember on that drive home, being so full of hope. But I also felt my faith waivering. What if healing wasn’t for me? What if it wasn’t my time? But I ached to be that flowing stream, to be able to share fruit with others, to give and share what I had been given. Yet, in that moment, all I could see were my aches and pains, the constant fatigue, and the never-ending brain fog that kept me from having much of a positive impact on anything, let alone the Kingdom.
Time went by. A few months passed, including a couple of different worship and healing nights. The hope was there, but still wavering, still uncertain.
I longed to reach out and just touch the hem of His robe…
For 12 years she bled.
For 12 years she was unclean and therefore unable to be in close proximity to family, friends, or even strangers.
For 12 years she saw doctor after doctor, spending every last penny to her name, with no cure and no hope.
But then Jesus.
One touch, one last ounce of hope, one gust of faith…and she was healed! (Luke 8:43-48)
But then Jesus…
Despite our move to Michigan bringing one of the worst seasons of my health in a very long time, I found myself surrounded by an amazing community and some incredible prayer warriors. I was prayed over and anointed on multiple occasions. My faith was challenged to believe and I constantly prayed, “I believe, Lord, help my unbelief.”
And His healing came.
It wasn’t instant. It wasn’t an obvious miracle. He brought my healing through friends, doctors, and alternative modern medicine.
I still have bad days, but they are few and far between. I’m functioning on a level I haven’t in probably over 5 years. Yes, it was medicine that helped. But even going to yet another doctor was a huge leap of faith for me.
But I reached out, one last ditch effort, and I aimed for the hem of His robe.
Ultimately, my healing was all coordinated by His hand and in His time.
I couldn’t be more grateful.
12 years. Her story is my story. Thank you, Jesus.
voyage together 