When He Doesn’t Make Sense

**Stick around to the end of this post – we’ve got some BIG news!**

After all the craziness of a couple weeks ago – I started second guessing it all.  It was too difficult.  No one would understand.  We don’t have the time.  The excuses were clouding my thoughts and overwhelming my spirit.

Sunday afternoons we spend at my parents house.  Lunch with the whole family and then some down time.  It gives a chance for my kids to spend time with their grandparents.  And it gets me away from my to-do list (most of the time).  That Sunday, with all of those doubts and excuses and downright pessimism invading my peace, we decided to turn on a movie.

Netflix has Evan Almighty currently, which I knew my daughter would enjoy.  And it was funny – just what I needed.  And apparently just what God thought I needed.  Ha!

The whole movie is about obedience.  About a quarter of the way through, I thought to myself – seriously?  Why did I pick this movie??  More conviction.

For those of you who haven’t seen it – Evan Almighty is basically a modern day version of Noah’s Ark.  Evan (played by Steve Carrell) is told, by God, to build an ark.  He tries to ignore the call from God, tries to run from it, even tries to hide it.  But it keeps coming back.  God is persistent.

When He calls you to build an ark in the suburbs of Washington D.C. it might not make sense, but He has a plan and a purpose.  When everyone around you thinks you are certifiably insane, He is still there prompting you forward.

When He calls you to open a coffee shop in the middle of a rural town with a declining economy and population – it doesn’t make sense and a number of people will think you are ridiculous.  But He has a plan and a purpose.  And He is still prompting us forward.

My job is to be obedient.  Not matter the cost.


So here we are.  We started the process to apply for the grant at the end of last week (Not sure what I’m talking about?  Go here.) with the help of our church.  And we were accepted to enter the running!  One hurdle jumped!

But here’s the interesting part – we have to raise $3,000 before we are eligible to win the grant.  And that task is a bit daunting.  But God…

But God is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine.

Even when applying for a national grant doesn’t make sense….  He has told us to.  So here we are.

If you would like to join us on this journey, you can also make a donation at the link below.  We will be eternally grateful!  I cannot wait to see what He does with all of this!  There is no doubt God has some big plans.  And YOU can be a part of it!  Check out our fundraising campaign here:

Coffee for Community Campaign

Coffee Shop, Obedience, God, Calling, Evan Almighty, Fundraising, Donate, Rural Valley, Dayton, Community, Third Place



We Can’t Not…

Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins;
you will restore the foundations laid long ago;
you will be called the repairer of broken walls,
the restorer of streets where people live
– Isaiah 58:12  (CSB)

I absolutely love this verse.  But I love it even more in The Message version:

You’ll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.

Make the community livable again….  Wow.

Justin and I have been on a journey that has lead us to this place; to this place where we want to revitalize the community in which we live.  We want everyone here to have hope, to be happy, to find true joy.  But it isn’t just a want, we have been called to make a difference.  So it’s a supernatural compelling of the Holy Spirit that has lead us to this place.

And at first we weren’t entirely sure what that looked like.  But with that still small voice, God has been speaking to us over the past two(ish) years and in the past month, He has confirmed, we believe, what turning our community upside down looks like.

A coffee shop.

For those of you that have followed along on this voyage, this probably doesn’t come as a surprise.  He has been nudging us this direction for some time.  But I was never completely confident in the idea.  Whether it was my own insecurities or the fact that God had us in a waiting period, there was nothing moving us forward for a time.

And in that waiting, there was struggle.  God definitely had to teach us some things about forgiveness, bitterness, letting go, finding joy, and allowing Him to be in control.  And some of those lessons took awhile to sink in.  When we finally surrendered to what God was doing and allowed ourselves to be mold-able once again, God started to move.

That was about three weeks ago.  With a renewed passion, we began discussing what He wanted for us.  We really felt like the coffee shop/third place route was the way to go.  So we decided to continue to circle the matter in prayer.  Specifically, we have no monetary means of making this happen.  And, inspired by Mark Batterson and National Community Church, we decided to just start praying for the money without asking anyone but Him for it (check out Draw the Circle for this story).

I wish I could tell you that He sent us the money the next day.  He didn’t.  He sent us an opportunity instead.  While mindlessly scrolling social media just a couple of days later, Justin happened across a grant for community wellness.  He sent it my way and I instantly started to laugh.  God is funny sometimes – my current profession?  Grant writing.  And a grant for community wellness was exactly what we needed.  We had often discussed searching for grants but with life and the thousand things coming our direction, it just never became a priority.

Until now.

There were (and are) still some hurdles we have to jump before we can actually apply.  But the night I approached my first hurdle, it went much better than expected.  I was overwhelmed at the positive response and encouraged that we were moving in the right direction.

But the next morning God made sure I knew we were headed in the right direction.  I had recently begun to read Next Door as it is in Heaven, including a small section in my morning routine each day.  As I read about a girl named Ali who had begun to turn her community upside down, these words jumped off the page:

In the midst of Ali’s neighborhood is Quay Coffee, which she says primed the pump for Neighbor Nights.  It served as a neutral hangout where neighbors began to notice one another as regulars, striking up conversations that evolved into friendships and community.

Um…what?  I instantly snapped a picture and sent it to Justin and a couple of others who have been on this journey with us.  Sometimes God shouts.  And I fully believe He did that day.

I immediately began to dive into research for the grant.  While I knew a good third place would make a difference in our community, I didn’t have the research to back it up.  Now I do.

  • Only 22% of people believe their communities have opportunities to meet new people (Pew Research).
  • 1 in 4 people (25%) in the US say they have no one to talk to.  That number doubles if you don’t count family.  This is up from only 8% in 1985 (National Science Foundation).
  • “The strength of our social relationships is comparable to well-established risk factors for mortality such as smoking and alcohol consumption.  Weak social relationships are a more significant risk factor than physical inactivity and obesity…” (Susan Pinker, The Village Effect)
  • “Creating destinations that people choose to go to, rather than just spaces people go to out of necessity, is an ideal way to improve their quality of life…” (Project for Public Spaces)

This just scratches the surface.  Social connections mean more than anything else when it comes to the health of a geographic community.  And in order for social connections to thrive, placemaking is essential.

The more I read, the more excited I became.  A coffee shop wouldn’t just provide a place for us to meet new people – it would actually increase the physical health, economy, and culture of our community while at the same time making it a safer place to live!  We have to do this!  This is our opportunity to make the community livable again.

Fast forward a couple of days.  My dad gets a phone call from a nearby, but not local, pastor friend.  In a conversation completely unrelated and irrelevant, this pastor mentions a coffee shop.  Which prompts my dad to share a bit of what has been happening.  This pastor knows of a place not too far away that has done what we want to do!  And the best part?  A coworker of mine had already mentioned this place to me about a year ago.  And I had forgotten.  Coincidence?  I think not.  My friends, this is what we like to call God moments.

While this all may seem like trivial things to you.  God is definitely leading us this way.  And I will keep moving with Him until He changes direction.  Whether or not the grant comes through, I know we are meant to do this.

I see a place where people go after work to relax.  I see tired moms stopping in after dropping their kids off at school to catch up with friends, teenagers stopping after school, retired couples stopping in just to chat, young children laughing at story time…  I see evening events such as trivia or open mic nights where people are laughing and chatting and gathering for community.  I see relationships develop.  Young and old.  Doctors and farmers.  I see connections made.  I see the community thriving.  I see hope.  I see light.  I see Jesus.

Coffee, Cafe, Community, Together, Gather, Relationships. Social Capital, Vitality, Life, Laughter

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Am I excited?  Yes.  Am I nervous?  Absolutely.  This will completely turn our lives upside down.  Nothing will be the same.  But we must take the next step.  As my dad finished his sermon on Sunday, I looked at Justin, choking back tears, “We can’t not do this…”  It was complete conviction.  Beautiful, humbling, sweet, unadulterated conviction.

And so we move forward into the great unknown….  To find out what happened next, head over When He Doesn’t Make Sense.


Constant Uncertainty

Have you ever noticed that when you truly start to follow the Lord that you are in a constant state of uncertainty?  Yes, He will give you moments of reassurance that you are on the right path.  But, more often than not, you cannot see the place your foot will fall as you take the next step.  While it is terrifying, this is exactly the place He wants us to be.  Because when we are uncertain, when we don’t know just what is going to happen, then we have to fully submit our lives to Him, fully depend on Him.

Whether it was two days, a month, or longer, the Israelites camped and did not set out as long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle. But when it was lifted, they set out. They camped at the Lord’s command, and they set out at the Lord’s command. They carried out the Lord’s requirement according to His command through Moses.  – Numbers 9:22-23

The presence of God was visible in the midst of the Israelite camp.  During the day it was a cloud and at night, a pillar of fire.  And the entire journey, from Egypt to the Promised Land, was dependent upon His presence.  They did not move unless He did and they would rest as long as He did.  You see, “God chose to keep this people so dependent upon Himself, and so submissive to His own will, that He would not give them regular times of marching or resting; they were to do both when and where God saw best” (Adam Clarke).

So, we must do the same, move when God moves, and rest when He rests.  Camp, or rest, is necessary for a time.  But how often do we as individuals set up camp and forget what it means to journey, to follow?  We get comfortable where we are and we stay there.  Is this what happened to the Church?  Did God move and we remained at camp?  He promised to be with us always IF we were making disciples (see Matthew 28:19-20).  So if we are no longer making disciples (the Church IS dying across the nation…which means more are falling away than those being added), than is His presence still with us?  Corporately, I think God has moved on, and many (not all) churches are functioning without His presence.  Why?  Because we got too comfortable.  Packing up camp and marching forward is difficult.  The journey before us is unknown, trudging through the wilderness doesn’t sound like much fun.  It is easier to remain where we are than to face the journey ahead.

But it is when we keep His charge, as the Israelites did, that we find all we have been waiting for.  He is leading the journey.  And when we are following Him we have nothing to fear!  The journey may be difficult, we will most likely face our enemy along the way, and each step we take is forward into the unknown – but we can rest assured that He is with us because we are following His command.

On the other hand, there are times when we are ready to march forward and God has placed us in a season of resting, or waiting.  The Israelites were always ready to march because the presence of God (the cloud or the fire) could move at any moment.  In fact, “They probably wanted to move forward badly – they were headed to the promised land!”  But, if we believe, if we truly trust in Him, we cannot hurry.  There is not time lost when we are waiting on God’s time (Matthew Henry).

There are times that God knows we are weary, so He provides rest.  There are other times that He is aware of a challenging season ahead, so He gives us time beside still waters to refresh before we plunge into the difficult wilderness ahead.  And, still other times where He knows we aren’t prepared for what is ahead.  Those times are the most difficult, I believe.  He has trials in the waiting to prepare our hearts for what He has for us on the jouney.  Camp isn’t always easy.  But camp we must as we wait for Him to move.

Waiting, Camping, Wait, Camp, Rest, Journey, Adventure, Presence of God, God's Presence, Israel, Follow

The alternative is moving forward without Him.  Many times, it seems as if we are doing a good thing, it is a highly spiritual venture.  But if we move without Him, the blessing of that venture may never come.  After all, it isn’t very spiritual if God isn’t in it…

To move or to stay without the direction of God is defiance.  It is direct disobedience.  And, because of that, no matter how spiritual the endeavor may look, I am furthering the Dominion of Darkness when I am not keeping the Lord’s charge.

To end I would like to paraphrase a prayer from Matthew Henry:

Father, Your will be done; get rid of me and mine as You please; here I am, desirous to be found waiting on my God continually, to journey and rest at the commandment of the Lord.  What You will, and where You will, only let me be Yours…




Holy Discontent

“Many have traveled this road before. I see their tracks in the dirt.  But maybe I don’t agree with where they are leading…”  

Bethany Dillon, Revolutionaries

The Church in America is dying.  You can look up the stats and figures on Google if you would like.  Most of it is depressing and leaves a feeling of defeat.  The very tool that God intended for His glorious news to spread around the world, is failing miserably.  Why?  The reasons are numerous and layered.  But, simply put, I think the Church has stopped being the Church.

Tracks, Bethany Dillon, Muriithi, Status Quo, Different, Change, Meaning, Holy, Discontent

Photo by Seth Fogelman on Unsplash

A lot of people want to blame society, the government, the “way the world is now.” The reality, however, is that if the “light” were being the light it has been called to be, the darkness would not have spread so far.  Light disperses darkness, not the other way around.  I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend or two in the panhandle of Oklahoma while I was in college.  The land out there is FLAT.  I mean, most of Oklahoma is flat, but the panhandle is extremely flat.  And the area is super rural.  You can see for miles.  Literally.  At night, it is pitch black dark.  No light pollution from the city, no cars around for miles.  Just you and the blackness.  As we drove around, I remember asking about the light in the distance – is it a city?  A town?  Nope…it was a cattle farm, that was miles and miles away.  A single cattle farm and the light was visibly noticeable…for miles!  Talk about pushing back the dark!

Light expels the dark.  We cannot blame society for the death of the church.  We have only ourselves to blame.  So what is the issue?  Again, I don’t think there is a singular issue.  It is multiple things, with deep layers, and some good intentions.  I actually started to write out some of what I believe these reasons may be…but the list got a little long and I felt like I was a bit all over the place (so those thoughts may or may not come as their own posts in the future…).

I was born and raised in the church.  I loved it then.  I love it now.  I love the Church because I love Jesus.  And I know what the Church was meant to be.  I know what we can be.

What I want to focus on today is where my heart is in all of this.  I know that a lot of people misinterpret my passion and the passion of others as something different.  It can come across as a power play or as controlling or manipulative.  And, as a people pleaser, this can often keep me up at night.  And it has, tears and all.  I wish that everyone could see my heart, could know my intentions.  The unfortunate reality is that they can’t.  Only God can.  It is to Him I am held accountable.  And I have to remember that on my bad days….AND on my good days.

My heart is broken for the community that surrounds me because they don’t know Jesus.  At least, not like I do.  The perception of the Church in the society around us is not a good one.  Whether from poor personal experience (childhood or otherwise) or from the media – the picture that comes to mind of the community of “Christians” is grim and distasteful.  We have become less than palatable.  And the very image of the Church, whether we like it or not, is how people see Christ.

I want to change that.  I want the world, especially the community I am in, to see the Jesus that I know.  The loving, compassionate, never-gives-up-on-me, Jesus.  The man who constantly gives and expects very little in return.  The man who gave His life so that I might live.  The God who is big enough to hold the sun in the sky and yet personal enough to care about even my simple hurts.  I want my community to see Jesus through me and, ultimately, through the Church.  Because the Church, when functioning in a healthy way, is capable of being absolutely beautiful.

I was fortunate enough to attend a conference in April with a few others (Exponential – it’s amazing, you should go if you ever have the chance).  One of the speakers that week, Muriithi Wanjau, from the Mavuno Church in Kenya, shared his story and it rocked our world.  His hope for his church was that if the government were to try to shut them down, that even the Muslims would try to prevent it because of the difference the church made in the community.

We left with that same fire.  If we were to disappear tomorrow, I would want the community to care!  I want the community to notice if we are gone.  And to fight for us to stay!  Because that is truly what Christ intended.  If we are to be a light on a hill – will anyone notice if the light were gone?  They should!  Or we aren’t being bright enough.

As Muriithi ended his time with us, he prayed a prayer over everyone in that room – “May You (God) lead them into a season of holy discontent.”  The idea was that we would no longer be okay with the status quo because the status quo isn’t working.  His prayer was that God would stir our hearts so much that we would be discontent until HIS purpose and HIS will was being played out in our communities.

Exponential, Muriithi, Holy Discontent, Different, Dream Big, Community

Photo by Tyson Dudley on Unsplash

And that prayer has been answered in our lives.  We can’t sit still, we won’t sit still until we have made such a difference in our community that everyone  would notice if we were gone.  It isn’t easy.  In fact, one of the others that went on the trip said to me the other day, “I’m going to go get on a plane right now, fly to Africa, find Muriithi, and make him to take it all back!”

This “holy discontent” stuff is hard.  It is a cross I often don’t want to carry any longer.  I would gladly pass it off to a more willing participant.  There are many days that I feel like giving up because no one gets it.  Or someone else misunderstood my intention.  Or it has led to yet another argument in my marriage because we don’t see eye to eye on how things need to be accomplished.

But I won’t give up.  I won’t back down.  I will claim this holy discontent and let it fuel me.  Because I don’t want my life to go back to the status quo.  I don’t want to go back to the normal mundane maintaining of the “American Dream.”  To quote The Afters, “I’m never going back to okay.  I’m never going back to easy.”  I want life to mean something.  I want the Church to have a holy discontent.  I want the world to know my Jesus.  I want my community to know my Jesus.

Because He has changed my life for the better, in ways that I cannot put into words.  I am forever grateful.  And I want to live my life in such a way that my gratitude is expressed in my every action.

Thank You, Jesus, for this Holy Discontent.

For the next exciting part of our journey you can head over here or if you want to start at the beginning, check out this post.

Time to Refresh

I can’t even remember that last time I sat down to write.  And, honestly, I hate that.  I let the busyness of life, the busyness of ministry take precedence over the things that refresh me, over my self-care.

know that when I take the time to write, my mind is clearer.  I know that when I spend time hashing out the thoughts I have about ministry, Scripture, Christ, and the adventure He has for us, that I find more joy.  I know that it’s something God has given me to refresh my spirit and grow closer to Him.  And yet writing consistently gets put on the back burner.

While the last couple of months have been full of exciting and productive things, there have been weeks that I have felt completely overwhelmed, lonely, or just plain numb.  In the chaos of life, I allow the enemy to use the very things I am doing for God to keep me from God.  Don’t get me wrong, through it all, I have been consistent about my devotional and prayer time.  But when I am running on empty, when I don’t have anything left to give, the hardness that is left prevents the nourishment of His word from sinking in.

I think this is why the Word of God reminds us multiple times to “be still.”  God knows we need personal refreshment for our souls so that when we draw near to Him we are able to receive what He has for us.  This looks different for all of us.  But as we learn what those things are, as we discover what things restore our soul, we have a responsibility to make sure those things become a priority.  I love the image of the oxygen mask on a plane: If I attempt to put the mask on the child first, there is a chance I won’t help either of us.  But if I place my mask on first, then I have a much better chance of being able to help the child as well.

I have to take care of myself or I’m of no use to anyone else.  I have to be able to receive, I have to be filled, so that I can pour out to others.  Ministry is futile when I have nothing left to give.

Ministry, Busy, Priorities, Self-Care, Pour, Give, Refresh, Time, Energy, Isolation, Empty

Don’t we hear this all the time?

All. The. Time.

Why then is it so hard to implement?

It goes well for a short time and then we fall back into old habits.  We justify the the busyness of ministry because it’s God’s work, it needs to happen, the Kingdom needs expanding.  Or we justify the busyness of life because we need the money or the house needs fixing or the to-do list keeps getting longer.

The enemy’s number one tool of destruction is isolation.  And the tendency for busyness leads us right toward that path of destruction.  Have you ever been surrounded by people who genuinely love you – yet you feel alone?  Have you ever been crushed by the weight of 100 little things that seem insignificant?  When I am too busy to refresh, the enemy uses his tool of isolation – the first thing to go is my joy.  I become numb to even the most joyous occasions.  And then the rest of my life starts to suffer – my work, my home, my relationships, my parenting, my marriage.  The cracks start to show and things start to crumble because I’m not taking the time to fill up.

I sit here alone in my house tonight because I hit a wall.  I couldn’t figure out where the box of macaroni had gotten to.  The cheese packet was on the counter.  The water was boiling.  Did I put the box back in the drawer?  Maybe in the cupboard where I got the pot from?  The cupboard above the stove?  Ugh!  Where did I put it?  Maybe I threw a full box of macaroni away…

Nope.  The noodles were already in the boiling water and the box properly placed with our burnables.  I turned to my husband, “Please take her with you tonight.  Please.  I just need some time to get things done.”  And back to cooking I went.

But it just got worse, I was rude to my husband, angry about things beyond my control, yelling at my daughter for not listening (she’s two….), and essentially throwing a fit because I got mashed potatoes on the floor.

So as they walked out the door, I knew I needed to take some time for myself.  Forget the to-do list, forget that the rest of  this week will be a madhouse.  I’ll do nothing.  But, in my husband’s words, as he walked down the steps to the car, “You aren’t capable of doing nothing.”

He’s not wrong.  I’m a doer.  If I’m laying on the couch doing nothing I’m either absolutely, 100% exhausted, or terribly sick.  So I chuckled and thought, maybe I’ll write.  As I sat down and turned on the TV, I knew that writing was exactly what my soul needed.

I sit here with a smile on my face because God is good.  Because, in the midst of  the crazy, when I’m ready to give up, He reminds me to step back and be still.  He gently nudges me back to reality.  I’m thankful that I took a minute to recognize the nudging and didn’t just dive back into my to-do list (because, we all know, it’s not going to finish itself on its own).

Write, Refresh, Back Burner, Ministry, Priorities, Busy

So, I guess I wrote tonight for myself.  Not to share the next step of our voyage.  Not to share some insightful thoughts about Scripture or to get on another soap box.  I wrote because I needed to feel my soul again.

What do you do to refresh your spirit?  And when was the last time you did so?


The Enemy’s Last Resort

The past year has been an incredibly difficult one.  It has been an intense season of sifting.  And while I know sifting is ultimately for my good, I still loathe the process.

It is so easy for me to focus on the negative, to only see the tough stuff.  But, the reality is, that the Lord has still blessed us over the past year.  In small ways and in big ways.  I know He is preparing us for something.  I feel as if we are right on the precipice of a break through.  And I can’t wait to see what that is.  We are *this* close – I know it!

But today was a rough day.  Though I cannot pin point one thing or another, I woke up today exhausted, overwhelmed, and struggling.  The enemy seems to have his hand in every single area of my life.  All relatively small things….but today the pile of small things added up to too much.  At the end of the day, through tears, I looked at my husband and said, “I just want to quit.  I can’t do this.  It’s too hard.”

But isn’t that what the enemy wants?  If I quit, if I throw in the towel, it’s all over.  He wins.

Nehemiah was faced with similar circumstances.  In chapter 6 he is *this* close to finishing the wall (more on this herehere and here).  All he had left to do was add gates.  So his enemies came at him, full force, with a vengeance.

As a last resort, they were pulling out all the tricks.  First, they tried to trick him.  They arranged to meet with Nehemiah with the intention to harm him.  Fortunately, Nehemiah didn’t fall for their scheme, even though they attempted multiple times.  Next, these men spread false rumor about Nehemiah, trying to intimidate him into giving up.

At this point, Nehemiah does two things.  We would do well to follow his example.

Pray, Prayer, Nehemiah, Hands, Strength, Trial, Tribulation, Sift

  1. He prays, “But now, my God, strengthen my hands” (vs. 8).  What a perfect prayer when we are in the midst of spiritual warfare!
  2. He seeks counsel.  Scripture tells us to seek the wisdom of others (Proverbs 24:6).  But Christ also warns us that there will be false prophets (Matthew 24:24).  Nehemiah sought the counsel of a known prophet, Shemaiah.

However, the enemy will use even those in leadership to do his bidding.  Thanks to discernment from being in the presence of the Lord, Nehemiah realized that Shemaiah was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, “I realized that God had not sent him…” (vs. 12).  Shemaiah encouraged Nehemiah to run to the temple and hide from his problems, from the enemy, “He was hired, so that I would be intimidated,do as he suggested, sin, and get a bad reputation, in order that they could discredit me” (vs. 13).

When we encounter tribulation, when we are sifted, the first thing the enemy wants us to do is run and/or hide.  But it is the last thing that the Lord wants from us.  He does not want us to react out of fear or frustration, instead, He wants us to stand firm in the calling He has placed on our life.  He wants us to push through and set an example for all of those around us.

Nehemiah did not run, he did not hide, he stood firm and completed the work the Lord had set before him: “When all our enemies heard this, all the surrounding nations were intimidated and lost their confidence, for they realized that this task had been accomplished by our God” (vs. 16).  The same people that had worked so desperately to stop this work soon realized that it had all been the work of the Lord, even from the start.  What a testimony!

But the work of the enemy doesn’t stop there.  He won’t quit, he is relentless and will do anything and everything he can to thwart the work of the Lord.  Though many had finally seen that Nehemiah was doing the work of God, there was still one man trying to bring an end to that work.  The final words of this chapter are, “And Tobiah sent letters to intimidate me.”

He won’t give up.  Why?  Because his goal is to get you to give up.  The closer you get to God’s vision, the harder he will work.  He wants you to run, he wants you to hide.  The worst part?  You don’t always see the effect of that sin right away.  And he does that on purpose.  The enemy tricks us into thinking we are safe.  He makes us believe we made the right choice because everything is going well.  But eventually, as you get closer and closer to the edge, he will pull the rug out from underneath you and everything will fall apart.

Don’t run.  Don’t hide.  Don’t give up.

The next time you are faced with trials and tribulation, stand firm!  Pray and continue the work.  Finish what it is the Lord has started.  He will never leave your side.  No matter how bad it looks, He is there, fighting with you, giving you the strength you need.

Stand firm.



Another Piece of the Puzzle

Often times, when I read the Bible, I find myself wishing that I could walk in the shoes of that specific person, whoever it might be at the time.

What would it have been like to be a disciple? To walk with Jesus, to listen to Him speak, to eat meals together? Or what about Paul and the blinding come-to-Jesus moment? I would love to know what Noah felt like, shouldering the continuation of humanity. But lately, I’ve wanted to be Moses. He had this moment, much like Paul, where it was perfectly clear God was speaking to him. The man encountered a bush…on fire and not burning! And then he heard the audible voice of God.

I mean…seriously!?!  Can I get a burning bush moment??  Something so obvious I can’t deny it was Him?

Those words came out of my mouth during staff devotion time yesterday morning.  And by the end of the day, I was shaking like a leaf, taking my shoes off and standing in awe because I was on holy ground, in His presence, hearing Him speak into my life.

I’m not sure how much I can share at this point.  But I’m not sure our lives will ever be the same after yesterday.  I still don’t know exactly what He is doing but He’s got our attention and we don’t want to take a single step without Him.

At the beginning of the day I received a message from a friend sending us a link from a contact we had yet to be in touch with.  I didn’t get the chance to read it before I headed into work.

Work comes and goes (insert burning bush comment and dialogue here).

Justin gets home and we have a discussion about how God’s vision seems to change.  I don’t think the vision changes, rather, it grows.  I’ve heard it compared to a seed in some places.  But last night I thought of it like a puzzle.  I think God gives us the grander vision piece by piece.  If He gave it all at once I don’t think our finite minds could handle it.  So He gives us a piece or two to start.  The funny thing is, we think we have the whole vision and so we rush in without giving it a second thought.  And, often times, we have to back track a bit.  But as we grow, as our faith grows, as our dependency on Him grows, He gives us a bit more of that vision, piece by piece by piece.  And the puzzle fills in a bit more.  We finally realize, ‘oh wait, I guess that doesn’t look exactly how I thought.’  I’m not sure we will ever have all of the pieces.  He only gives us what we need as we need it.  Why?  He wants us to live in complete dependence upon Him and how He moves.

The point of that being – sometimes, down the road, the vision doesn’t look like what we originally thought.  I think God gets a chuckle out of that.

Within minutes of finishing our dinner conversation, Justin received a message from a couple who we have met with less than a handful of times.  A couple we have shared our heart and our vision with.  In just a few sentences, they turned our world upside down.  In a good way.

It was then I remembered the link from that morning.  Uncannily, it was a video dealing with the exact scenario we had just found ourselves in.  I started laughing….was this the burning bush I had asked for?

I was on holy ground and I didn’t even know it.  God had given us another piece of the puzzle.

Puzzle 3

I have yet to figure out what exactly He is doing.  I keep trying to create these hypothetical futures in a thousand different directions.  But I know it is futile.  I know whatever He has up His sleeve is bigger than I could ever ask or imagine.

So we wait.  And pray.  Our devotion tonight was on seeds becoming trees and the years and years it takes for that to happen.  We don’t want to rush into what we think is the vision.  For all we know, we’ll get another piece of the puzzle tomorrow.  And it could change every single assumption we have today.  We are praying like it depends on Him and acting like it depends on us.  He’ll change the trajectory of our path if He needs to.  We just have to keep seeking Him.

For the next part of our story, head here.  Or, if you want to start at the beginning, head here.

Puzzle, God, Mystery, Vision, Moses, Paul, Disciples, Jesus, Change, Growth, Journey, Voyage, Burning Bush, Voice of God

When We Forfeit the Miracle

Forfeit – (v.) To lose or be deprived of as a penalty of wrongdoing or neglect.

Parenthood has brought many treasures.  I think one of the things I love most is being able to almost grasp the unconditional love that God has for us.  It is a very difficult thing to comprehend – this Love that knows no bounds, that doesn’t care what we do, that gives expecting nothing in return.  It is relentless and unwavering.  No matter what I do, He still loves me.  And I understand that a bit more fully now that I’m a parent.  No matter what my daughter does (now and in the future) – I will still love her with my whole being.  That doesn’t mean I won’t be disappointed or frustrated.  That doesn’t mean I won’t discipline or require obedience.  It means that I will love her, I will hold her to a higher standard because I want the very best for her and I know better than she does what the “best” is (especially right now – she’s only two!).

God loves us.  He holds us to a higher (the highest) standard because He wants the very best for us.  And let’s face it – the God of the universe knows what is best for me way better than I do (even when I think I do).  I know that I disappoint Him sometimes, I know that I frustrate Him sometimes.  But I  am thankful for His discipline.  Because He wants what is best for me, He does require obedience.  If we obey, if we follow His lead, then we are on the path that is best for us (note here – best does not mean least resistance).

And when I don’t obey, then I forfeit a lot.  Just like a child who does not obey, they forfeit certain activities or certain treats (i.e. car keys, screen time, time with friends, etc.).  However, when don’t obey, I forfeit blessings.  I forfeit miracles.  I forfeit powerful moments of His presence.  And why, oh why, would I ever want to do that?!?

But I do.  Time and time again.

What have I forfeited?  What miracles did I miss?

This morning, I was reading from Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God Day by Day, as Christ was praying in the garden, the disciples were supposed to be praying with Him.  In His greatest moment of need, they were supposed to be there for Him.  And what were they doing?  They were sleeping!  How often did Christ need them?  I’m guessing not often.  They missed that opportunity – “Jesus forgave them, and they went on to experience God working powerfully through their lives, but that unique moment with the Lord was lost.”  I don’t want to miss a single moment that He has in store for me!  But how often I must because I’m too preoccupied to notice what He wants from me, what He asks of me.  Here’s the kicker, “God does not need our obedience; He has legions of angels prepared to do His bidding when we fail Him.  The loss is ours as we miss what God wants to do in our lives” (emphasis added).  God doesn’t need me to obey.  But He gives me the opportunity because He loves me.  And I want so desperately to please Him.  I don’t want to miss out on those moments!  I don’t ever want to miss out on His presence in my life.  Without Him life is lonely, empty, and without meaning.

Obedience, Souls, Forfeit, Miracle, Blessing, God, Obey, Command, Scripture, Daily, Bible Study, Devotion, Follow, Gethsemane, Jericho, Peter, Joshua, Blind, Blackaby, Experiencing God, Fail, Blessing, Presence of God

Or think of it this way – what if Joshua and the Israelite’s had only circled Jericho 6 times (Joshua 6:1-27)? They were tired, nothing had happened, and they looked like fools.  But 7 times is what the Lord required.  And the 7th time made all the difference.  What if Peter, James, and John hadn’t put their nets into the water (Luke 5:1-11)?  They had been fishing all nigh and had barely caught a thing.  Why would now, in the daylight, when fish were even more sparse, make any difference at all?  But it did.  Because the Lord said so.  What if the man born blind has refused to go and wash his eyes out (John 9:1-12)?  Why put in the extra effort?  Can’t I just wipe them off right here?  But the act of obedience, the going and washing were an act of obedience.

You get the point.  They (and many others) could have easily forfeited the miracle.  And the Biblical narrative as we know it would be different.

We must obey!  If the Lord has spoken to you, if He has laid something on your heart, then you had better listen.  What could be on the other side of your obedience?  Is it time in His presence?  A moment of growth?  Or a miracle?

One thing is for sure, as a wise friend of mine once told me, there are souls on the other side of your obedience.  The Lord is waiting for you to listen so that He can use you to save the lives of others!  Are you willing to forfeit those souls?  Lives are at stake here.  The choices you make today will affect other people!

Obedience, Souls, Forfeit, Miracle, Blessing, God, Obey, Command, Scripture, Daily, Bible Study, Devotion, Follow, Gethsemane, Jericho, Peter, Joshua, Blind

If you know the right thing to do and you do not do it, that is a sin (James 4:17).  Do you know the right thing?  Do you know what He has told you to do?  Has Scripture shed light on your situation and give you an answer/solution to a problem?

Often times what He asks of us will be difficult.  Sometimes, it will seem impossible.  But it is always worth it.  Always.

After all, God, all-powerful, all-knowing, Creator of the entire universe – He knows what is best for you, what is best for me.  Why wouldn’t I want to listen?

The Tides are Changing

I’m not sure about the area where you are.  But, here, something is brewing.  We are right on the brink of something huge!  And I see it in the communities around us as well.  The more people I talk to, the more excited I get.

Mission, Purpose, Millennial, Change, Church, Disciples, Great Commission, Part of Something Bigger, Tides Changing, On the Brink, Something Brewing, Hope, Passion, Fulfillment

But let me back up a few steps….or a few decades….for a moment.

At some point in the church’s history, passive Christianity became the norm.  Sunday mornings became the benchmark for being a Christian.  Sing in the choir, make and/or serve a few meals, put your money in the plate, and you are golden.  The standard has been met.  A few people were called to be missionaries, a few were called to be pastors. The idea of making disciples, of fulfilling the great commission was placed in their hands.  Because it was their job to lead the flock.  That’s what we were paying them to do after all!  We were also paying them to preach the gospel, to visit the sick, to baptize, to dedicate, to teach, to counsel, to grow the church…because we had our own jobs to do.  We had our own families to provide for.  And it was their job!  Do you see how this got out of hand?  How can one person accomplish all of that in a single week?!?  It was never, I repeat, never, supposed to be this way.

I’m not saying that pastors and missionaries should be unpaid.  What I am saying is that we took advantage of that position.  And we let the few start doing the work of the many.  We put our responsibilities in the hands of another person and allowed church attendance to replace disciple making.  At the end of Matthew, Christ gave His disciples clear instructions – “to go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and the son, teaching them to observe all that I’ve commanded.”  We are His disciples and those instructions have been given to us.  Attending church on Sunday is not making disciples.  Placing money in the plate is not making disciples.  Making a meal is not making disciples.  Giving to charity (monetarily or otherwise) is not making disciples.  Don’t get me wrong – those are all good things.  But those good things, those fairly passive things, have replaced THE mission Christ has given us.

But the tides are changing.  People are waking up.

Millennials get a bad wrap.  And often, I am a tad embarrassed to be associated with a generation that is so frowned upon.  But there is one thing we have going for us, whether everyone may recognize it or not, we are passionate and we seek purpose.  Now, I’m not saying that millennials are the only reason the tides are changing, but I do believe it’s a big part of it.  They, we, want to be a part of something that truly makes a difference.  We want to get our hands dirty.  We want to have a purpose.

Unfortunately, sitting in a pew on Sundays doesn’t give purpose.  Donating to charity doesn’t give purpose.  But being a part of something bigger than me – that brings purpose.  Making a difference, seeing life change, seeing lives made whole through the power of Christ – that brings purpose.  And it should.  Because being a part of God’s kingdom, making disciples, is the purpose for which we were created.

Something is brewing.  I see leadership rising up from the younger generation.  I see men and women of all ages who are not okay with the status quo.  They are not okay with a dying Church!  And they are ready to make a change.  The great thing is – that passion, that desire for purpose, and a desire for new life-blood flowing in the veins of the church – it’s extremely contagious.

The passion is spreading.  Though not as fast as a wildfire, it’s still spreading, little by little, like moss on the trunk of a tree.  The growth may not be noticeable on most days – but eventually, there is evidence that the moss has spread, it has grown, and it’s still spreading.  Slowly, but surely.

Mission, Purpose, Millennial, Change, Church, Disciples, Great Commission, Part of Something Bigger, Tides Changing, On the Brink, Something Brewing, Hope, Passion, Fulfillment

But I feel like we’re on the precipice.  That passion is going to erupt and the wildfire growth will begin.  Something is brewing.

The winds are blowing.  The tides are changing.

And I want to be a part of it.

Along the Way

When I started this blog it was because God has set a vision before us.  And He had done so in big ways, ways that I didn’t want to ever forget.  So as we started on our voyage, I wanted to keep track of all that was happening.  So much was happening!  These unmistakable God moments seemed to be a weekly occurrence.  You can catch up by starting here.

I have been writing more recently because we’ve been learning more recently.  But, I know I haven’t written an update on where our vision stands.  There’s a reason for that.  I truly believe that God has us on pause.  Though I keep praying, it seems the answers never come.  I should clarify that I know the answer isn’t “no.”  God has given us a vision to start an intentional community outside of the walls of a church building.  Of that I am sure.  But, I believe at this point, His answer is “wait.”  And that frustrates me.  A lot.

Especially when trials and troubles seem to have replaced the God moments we were thriving from!

But then come the moments of conviction.  In relatively odd places.

On Facebook while I’m talking to my Mom-in-Law on the couch.

Driving from place to place.

In a work meeting when we’re discussing the opening of a maternity home.

God stops me in my tracks in those moments.  I have found myself in tears.  Not because I was sad or even overly happy, but because I remembered I was in His presence.  I was standing on holy ground.

He has a plan.  He has given me a vision.  He has given us a vision.  And He will bring that vision to pass, so long as we are obedient to His promptings.  And, I believe, that as long as we remain in prayer and in His word, we’ll recognize those promptings.

That doesn’t mean the vision will come to pass tomorrow or in the next few years.  For Moses, it was 40 years.  40 years!!  And that’s just one of many instances I could refer to.  I know it will happen.  I know that we will be a part of making a difference in the community we are in by starting intentional community.

I *think* I know what that looks like (can you say ‘coffee shop?’).  But I also know that as a vision grows, it may start to look a bit different from the original view point.  The end goal remains the same.  The purpose remains the same.  But God is moving.  And sometimes that means that I change.  Because, after all, change is growth, without change there can be no growth.  If a seed remains a seed, it will never become a tree.

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And I want to be a tree, a tree that bears fruit.

I want to make a difference for the kingdom.  And I won’t settle for anything less.  Not now.  Not tomorrow.  Not 40 years from now.

When I reach those pearly gates, I long to hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  And I truly believe the only way those words will be spoken is if I have a whole crowd of people with me.  I want to make my Abba Father, my Daddy, proud.

So we march on toward the vision, working diligently along the way.

The vision continues to unfold here.